The Secret of Me, directed by Grace Hughes-Hallett, is an evocative, personal documentary. It powerfully narrates the lives of Jim Ambrose, who was born in 1976 with XY chromosomes and ambiguous genitalia. Originally given the name Kristi, Ambrose was socialized female until at the age of 20 Ambrose began to live as male. The film explores the nuances of his layered identity. It further explores the impact of early surgical treatments, especially those guided by the quixotic practices of Dr. John Money.
Ambrose’s narrative interlocks with that of David Reimer, another victim of forced gender reassignment. Reimer lost his penis after a circumcision complication. For the next decade, Dr. Money raised him as a girl, fostering the idea that gender reassignment surgery was a kind and humane decision for intersex children. Dr. Money would go on to use Reimer’s case as a primary and notable source of support for his normative theories. This ignited a national debate over gender identity and medical ethics.
Though Jim Ambrose’s circumstances were unique, the experience of his last years—wracked with pain, loss, and confusion—was echoed in his life. He underwent numerous surgeries and fought through a great deal of psychological trauma. These challenges were a result of the medical interventions he received as a child. The documentary focuses on these formative experiences and the impact they had on his sense of self and identity.
Ambrose’s life took a radical new direction after he became an activist for intersex rights. He discovered his voice in the now increasingly visible intersex community, pushing for increased understanding and acceptance of intersex people. In the process, he not only reclaimed his own narrative but in doing so, spoke to the shared experience of many and connected with others.
Besides recording his scientific pursuits, the film follows Ambrose’s blossoming personal life, as he looks for love and companionship. Then he found a partner who believed in him, and that provided a new chapter in his story filled with hope and resiliency. These are the things that make the documentary special, showing how vital community and connection can be in the face of adversity.
In a tear jerking scene, Ambrose finally reunited with the surgeon that saved his life when he was three days old. This meeting caused both men to seriously reconsider their actions. It spoke to the dangers of avoiding hard choices and backing away from decisions that must be made without understanding their long-term implications on individuals’ lives.
The Secret of Me uses the personal experience of Jim Ambrose’s life to challenge viewers and listeners to think about what gender identity means and why medical intervention is neither necessary nor effective. It calls attention to critical questions regarding the ethics of intersex treatment and the need for informed consent and affirmative, compassionate care.