Elizabeth, a 67-year-old retired industry worker, was led into a particularly convoluted romance scam. It ended up costing her more than £100,000. After 37 years of domestic abuse, Elizabeth left her abuser and never looked back. She and her youngest son moved into their own home—Virginia was ready for a new beginning. Her search for love and friendship took her into an online relationship with a man who went by the name “Sam.”
Their digital romance began innocently enough with online games of Word Chums. Before long, it evolved into financial fraud. Elizabeth’s personal story, culture and fluency in three languages is her superpower. Her story does demonstrate how easily vulnerability can be exploited in today’s digital age.
The Allure of Connection
Elizabeth’s previous experience with online romance had been just as thrilling and fun, meeting people who not only sparked her sexuality but made her feel comfortable. She and “Sam” met online via gaming apps, quickly becoming friends thanks to a shared love of Word Chums. Sure enough, their exchanges soon became less playful and more emotionally charged.
Things progressed quickly and as their relationship developed, Elizabeth began to fall in love with Sam’s good looks and charm. He declared his love from the outset, asking her, “I love you. Is that too much too soon? In addition to this proclamation, the excitement of everyday texts left her feeling attractive and desirable.
Below the surface of their relationship were some serious warning signs. Elizabeth recalls feeling uneasy at times, noting, “Something wouldn’t make sense, like another request for money… If I questioned anything, he’d turn it back on me so brilliantly.” These moments of uncertainty were met with a deeper yearning to be understood, accepted and loved.
The Financial Drain
As Elizabeth got deeper into her relationship with Sam, the asks for financial support continued to increase. She has drafted him a $500 Amazon gift card. This allowed him to purchase a study manual whilst working full time on an oil rig. Yet, this act would only mark the start of a multi-decade cycle of unprecedented financial backing.
Over a period of two and a half years, Elizabeth funneled almost $700,000 into her husband’s hands using different excuses. He covered the medical expenses after he got sick. He wired funds to his daughter, of whom he said was caught in an abusive arranged marriage. In total, Elizabeth sent Sam nearly £100,000.
Reflecting on the emotional toll of these transactions, Elizabeth said, “I’d absolutely panic – my life just emptied.” The constant panic mode brought on by Sam’s made-up situations made her panic and think that she had no choice.
The Unraveling of the Illusion
Elizabeth’s adult sons Devereaux and Matt challenged her on her relationship with Sam. They said they were alarmed over the hundreds of thousands of dollars she had been wire transferring to him. Their intervention was instrumental in loosening the grip that Sam still had on her.
Even after accepting the fact that she’d been defrauded, Elizabeth found it hard to get past her own emotions. “You’re not in the real world, you’re in this pretend, amazing world,” she explained. But after weeks of emotional manipulation, she felt disconnected from the real world and haunted by her obsession with Sam.
She went from being a target of an atrocious scam to joining forces with other unsuspecting victims through Victim Support’s monthly meetings. These events provide her with community and understanding as she listens to the stories others share. Even now, Elizabeth continues to reflect on her experience on a daily basis, unsure if she will ever completely recover from it.
“After all the incredible love-bombing, they withdraw it and that silence feels terrifying for victims. What’s happened? Is it over? What did they do wrong?” – Carter
Elizabeth’s story is a real-life cautionary tale about the perils of online relationships. Cynically, it shouldn’t be all that surprising — the promise of love and meaningful connection is a powerful camouflage for false intention.
The Aftermath
It all came crashing down In August of last year, Elizabeth saw her relationship with Sam end under unexpected circumstances. This time she pierced through the charade he had crafted. After going to police to report her case, she learned a shocking reality. We felt that she was probably the victim of an international organized criminal enterprise.
Elizabeth’s experience highlights a pervasive issue in today’s digital landscape: romance scams. As technology advances, so do the strategies used by scammers who want to steal money from those most at risk.
Carter, a specialist in romance fraud, discusses the emotional toll these scams take on victims. “Sleep deprivation really degrades your cognitive ability to think clearly and make good decisions,” he noted. This perspective helps to explain why victims like Elizabeth often become caught in these kinds of snares.