Additionally, as people age their support networks tend to dwindle. One woman’s journey from loneliness to friendship shows us it is never too late to cultivate deep, lasting connections as an adult. For Rachel, a creative entrepreneur, the journey has brought her to understand that friendship can grow anywhere. It isn’t confined to the school playground, freshers’ week or her first job. Rather, by making choices with purpose and a sense of curiosity, she’s developed a tight-knit circle of fresh friendships that fill her life with joy.
Research shows that developing strong friendships requires nearly 200 hours of time together. It can be difficult for most adults to focus that much time on their partnerships. Psychotherapist Kaytee Gillis describes that the quality of intentional, undistracted time to build these kinds of connections fades away in adulthood. Rachel had been acutely aware of how blank her social calendar was on the weekends. This created a world that was the polar opposite of her vibrant 20s, filled with nonstop social engagements.
In the midst of this extreme challenge, Rachel found herself thrust into new spaces & places connecting with people in unexpected ways. That first dinner with Elvira was the start of a great friendship. Rachel is a devoted scientist and a die-hard Spurs fan. Surprisingly, even though her friend didn’t care much at all about sports, the two women hit it off on a much deeper level.
Along the way, Rachel introduced Elvira to a friendship with another fellow musician. These days, the three share frequent dinners and frequently attend each other’s social events. This evolving connection demonstrates the power of common experiences and arts engagement to overcome divides between clashing interests and identities.
I’ve spent years unpicking these expectations placed on women of marriage and motherhood,” Rachel told us. This introspection has allowed her to embrace the idea that friendship can take many forms and does not always follow traditional paths.
A recent survey by Talker Research revealed that 69% of people believe making close friends becomes more difficult as one ages. Rachel’s story disproves this narrative. It demonstrates that where there is a will and a willingness, people can make new connections regardless of age.
The writer’s journey didn’t end with Elvira. She met new friends-to-be in shared workspaces, yoga sessions, a Supper Club of new friends on a monthly rotation, and the neighborhood coffee shop. Each of these fabulous venues had a lot of space for relationship-building. During Brighton’s On the Beach festival last July, Rachel found Loveday in a very organic way. Their first meeting at the festival turned into weekend walks on the stunning South Downs, deepening their bond.
Whether it’s through swimming or breaking bread together, Rachel and her friends have formed lifelong memories. They’ve opened their meetings to family members, showing that involving community can strengthen an organization’s internal culture and connections.
“It becomes harder to make friends as you get older,” noted the Talker Research survey. Looking forward Persistence is key, as Rachel’s story exemplifies. By meeting with different individuals, she developed meaningful and nurturing relationships, showing that age does not inhibit the formation of strong ties.
Now, as Rachel Anna Rodriguez looks back on her year of building community, she’d like to think she’s found that network. The variety of characters in her new world surprises her and enhances her existence more than she ever expected.
Elvira has become a kindred spirit for Rachel, billowing into her imagination and nurturing a friendship that’s authentic, protective and respectful. Together, they work through the challenges of what it really means to be an adult while learning to value their special differences.