As a writer and cultural commentator, Michelle Law has gained prominence for her reflections on the lessons passed down from her mother, the late Jenny Phang. A photograph from 1991, showing an unguarded moment between the two, speaks to the lasting impact of homegrown wisdom. Throughout her life, Law’s mother repeatedly emphasized a particular Cantonese idiom: “jiu leng m jiu ming,” which translates to “to pursue beauty at the expense of one’s life.” This pudgy adage is good advice — a warning against the foolishness of choosing looks over health.
The idiom summarizes an important lesson found deep within Chinese culture intrinsically valuing longevity and functionality. In this context, ideals of beauty are out of place. It shines a light on the ways society pressures us to care more about “looking cool” than what really matters. Law recalls her mother’s frequent reminders, noting how these words have shaped her understanding of life choices. This focus on longevity hits home especially in Chinese culture, where the ideas of physical health and beauty take precedence over short-lived glamour.
Jenny Phang’s teachings were more than just personal narratives. They powerfully advance a moral value framework that encourages people to consider the future implications of their actions. Michelle Law is vowing to use her life for good. She understands that someday soon, she will have to share these critical teachings with her son. She anticipates the moment when she might remind him of “jiu leng m jiu ming” as he reaches adolescence and begins to grapple with societal expectations around beauty and image.
In her book titled “Sh*t Asian Mothers Say,” Law references this idiom as part of a broader conversation about cultural identity and parental influence. The expression conveys a transcendent, but perhaps generational, transmission of values that favors materialism over the ornamental distractions of beauty. Through the sharing of her mother’s wisdom, Law wants to push against the dominant narrative that value is tied to body size.
The Chinese idiom “jiu leng m jiu ming” delivers an important reality check. We must never have to trade our lives for temporary aesthetics. This philosophy strikes a chord with those in the community, especially as the conversation about body positivity, self-acceptance and mental health raises to the surface. By recognizing the toxic effects of social pressures, people can work towards a healthier relationship between beauty and health.
As Michelle Law continues her journey as a writer and mother, she remains committed to instilling these values in her family. Jenny Phang’s brilliance is hard to put into words. It represents a cultural inheritance that is deeply pragmatic in form and built to last. The message is clear: one should prioritize health and well-being over the transient nature of beauty.