Eva and Iris have been together for ten years. Recently, they’ve experienced huge erosion of their bond, particularly when it comes to intimacy. Even though sex is very important to both women’s idea of the relationship, they come at it from different angles. Eva has considered leaving the relationship if it continued to be sexless, showing why intimacy is central for her. For Iris, a serene, chill vibe is key to her getting in the mood.
In this couple’s case, the COVID-19 pandemic increased stresses already present in their daily lives, affecting their couple’s sexual relationship negatively. Sex during the pandemic was highly restricted for both Eva and Iris. For three years in a row, they each got lucky only once within a 12-month period. Without this intimacy, both partners felt a growing sense of separation and resentfulness.
Over the past six months, Eva and Iris have rekindled their sexual chemistry. Now, though, they share intimate physical affection several times a week. This sudden frequency has been driven by their growing joy and lower levels of stress. Eva views sex as the primary means of managing her stress. At the same time, Iris is becoming more comfortable with intimacy as their relationship continues to deepen and heal.
Eva’s views on sex have changed over their ten years together. Before this, she hadn’t considered sex to be a big priority—especially during periods of heightened stress. But now she has found a new appreciation for it as an outlet for her to connect with others and relax. Iris’s approach is still dependent on her mood. For instance, she requires a sense of happiness and tranquility in order to get in the right mood for sex.
For Eva, their relationship with Iris is entering an all-too-exciting new phase. They have navigated so much adversity through the pandemic side by side. Their willingness to have difficult conversations about what they need and what they want has created this shift. Tension has been evident, particularly when Iris confronted Eva on their sexual relationship. What’s clear is how both women are learning to navigate these complexities with greater awareness of their implications.
As far as personal preferences go, Eva has found a great deal of comfort in self-exploration. She finds it easy to achieve sexual satisfaction through masturbation. On the other hand, Iris never engages in masturbation at all. She argues that the resulting difference in behavior is what creates their different sexual desires. This conflict has led both of them to see the importance of direct communication between the pair to make sure they’re both feeling satisfied.
Eva and Iris are not only in love, but passionately discovering their sexual relationship. They are both advocating for their personal interests as well as what’s best for the duo. By coming to terms with their differences and leaning into vulnerability, they’re creating the foundation for increased intimacy and true connection. Their story is part of a larger story about how all couples adapt to shifts in their roles, identities and relationships as they age.