In the modern blended family, stepparents face new hurdles. One of the greatest obstacles they encounter is forming bonds with their new profuse children. As one stepfather struggling to understand his five-year-old stepdaughter’s actions told us, he is left in a state of fear and confusion. He portrays his stepdaughter as a person without shame, personal responsibility, or fear of authority figures. This begs the question of how bad her upbringing must’ve been and the effects of her mother.
The stepdaughter’s after-therapy behavior became a major concern to her stepfather. He points out that she’s horrifically spoiled and displays the same sort of traits that made her mother so loathsome. This likeness has created a quite confusing dynamic for him. In truth, he never intended for this child to be part of his life. The stepfather, who has no biological children of his own, becomes more and more suspicious of her. He worries that she will never be able to outgrow some of her more troublesome behaviors.
Knowing a little about the psychological development of five-year-olds can shed light on this murky cause-and-effect dynamic. At this developmental stage, children are often trying to push boundaries. They desire independence, which frequently manifests as rebellion and refusal to take responsibility. The stepfather’s concern is not simply about normal developmental acting out. He shares a very real anxiety that his stepdaughter’s current behaviors might continue into middle childhood if something didn’t change.
The delinquent stepfather maintains close ties with the delinquent child’s mother, even though he suspects she is causing problems. She has two adult children from a prior marriage. This new dynamic makes his own emotional struggle all the more complicated, where the warmth he feels towards her may be overshadowed by concern for her daughter. He wishes he could be totally supportive of his partner. At the same time, he finds it difficult to condone attitudes or practices that may negatively affect the child’s growth.
The stepfather’s pain demonstrates how critical honest communication and teamwork is between biological parents and stepparents. Setting clear expectations for discipline and removal of off-task behaviors is essential to help develop accountability in children. He is free to pursue parenting guides and counseling from child psychology professionals. It’ll arm him with the best tools to address these challenges head on.
Additionally, he understands that creating a caring environment for his new stepdaughter might be critical to her growing and thriving. Rewarding good behavior with compliments and affirmation and establishing strict rules might have taught her the lesson that she needed to learn. The stepfather’s willingness to seek knowledge about child development reflects his commitment to creating a nurturing home for his family.