It was an intensive self-help and dating summit in Miami that would change the course of Nick’s life forever. Upon entering the darkness of this event, he was tutored in the worldview of a litany of prominent voices from the manosphere. This collective includes digital spaces that cater specifically to men’s interests, needs, and experiences. Through both the personal and profession, this experience had him cross paths with big names such as Michael Sartain, Dan “Blitz” Bilzerian, and Andrew Tate. It further fueled his motivation to lose body fat and form what he referred to as a “micro-harem” of women.
Nick’s entry into this world was less about the rhetoric and more a demonstration of financial investments. In return, he paid lavish amounts to pseudo-relationship go-to gurus who greatly advertised their prowess in connection and self-improvement. His commitment manifested in a vision board with realistic goals. He drew up a whiteboard in his classroom to chart the goals he wanted to achieve in the next six months.
On family vacations, he was no stranger to hopping around English pubs and greasy spoons. There, he networked with other expatriates, plunging himself into a culture that mirrored the philosophies he was adopting. He found financial freedom after creating a mobile app and selling it to a multinational corporation. With this new-found fortune he’s able to finance his dreams in the grandest style. He even contributed for his parents to purchase an apartment on Spain’s Costa Blanca. This highlighted his desire to be responsible to his family while living out and chasing his own dreams.
Nick’s emotional health was up and down throughout this time. At first, he was often feeling empowered, but that was quickly disrupted by confusion. All of this confusion came from new-age self-help platitudes about “trusting the process.” This daily reminder turned out to be the foundation of his mantra that self-improvement was the key to unlocking greatness.
The lessons Nick learned, sometimes directed him toward dangerous and toxic philosophies about relationships, masculinity, and femme-bashing attitudes. He expressed beliefs that echoed red-pill rhetoric, stating, “Women want a leader of men, but society put us inside these boxes and made us passive.” This sentiment was indicative of his beliefs surrounding traditional masculinity and where he believed men fit into society today.
The effect of the red-pill world of podcasts and YouTube channels reinforced his resolve. Nick embraced ideas such as hypergamy—the notion that women are inclined to date men of higher status—asserting, “This is what happens when hypergamy goes unchecked.” He argued that “girls know what they’re missing.” He set out to reprove the merits of polygyny as a more natural and advantageous arrangement for women than monogamy.
Nick’s perspective extended beyond mere observation. He actively engaged in ventriloquizing the statements of red-pill hucksters, one of whom claimed, “Women would rather share an alpha than get with a beta.” This slogan summed up a lot of his worldview, which painted heterosexual norms as a Darwinian struggle.
His social life reflected the worlds he was researching. Nick started frequenting private clubs and cocktail lounges across West London, looking for places that matched his new vibe. On the very first one, he received a call from his mom. The call briefly yanked Alexandre from his bohemian underground existence.
For all Nick’s financial success and ambition, his experiences highlight the effects of a recent national trend. He lamented the effects of social media on dating culture, stating, “Social media has ruined it for average guys,” reflecting a sense of disillusionment with modern dating practices.
Nick’s path into the manosphere is an example of the struggle between aspiration and ideology. His experiences offer our community a compelling case study. They remind us how different men can fall prey to different myths about masculinity and relationships in our current internet era.