The 2013 coming-of-age comedy-drama The Way Way Back ignited a profound realization in one man. Over time, they processed and came to understand that they had been suffering abuse at the hands of their stepfather. Steve Carell as Trent in the film Foxcatcher. His sadistic, psychological, and diminutive behavior resonated with the author’s own traumatic experiences.
In The Way Way Back, Carell’s character, Trent, is the kind of stepfather that villains are made of. His actions and words throughout the film exemplify a form of domestic abuse known as “coercive control,” which involves manipulating and controlling an individual’s behavior. More than anything, the author found a kindred spirit in Duncan, the film’s teenage protagonist. To make matters worse, he suffers daily humiliation at the hands of Trent and his mom, Pam.
As the author shared, it wasn’t until watching the film that they recognized the severity of their abusive relationship. They recognized that Trent’s cruel comments, such as “On a scale of one to 10, what do you think you are?” and “I think you’re a three,” closely mirrored their own stepfather’s behavior. We know, from watching back, that the author was very connected to these moments. They never understood the silencing, manipulative dynamics controlling their life until now.
The emotional punch of the film is powerful. By empathizing with Duncan’s journey, this reader was able to find the strength to stand up to her own abusive stepfather. This discovery inspired them to fight back against the rough detention that they had suffered for decades. It left the author longing to throw Carell’s character under a bus. They understood that this rage fueled their urgency to escape the abusive dynamic.
After six months of defiance in the face of their abusive stepfather, the author’s mother, Pam, finally made contact in person with the children. This reunion reinforced the nuance of familial relationships that are typically harshly warped by an abusive spotlight. As the author began this journey towards empowerment, they soon realized that their journey wasn’t just personal; it included rebuilding broken family bonds.
Coercive control is a tactic used by domestic abusers that, in its many insidious forms, ranges from emotional manipulation and undermining a partner’s autonomy to psychological intimidation. It’s particularly insidious, usually causing victims to gaslight themselves and question their own feelings and experiences. As the author recounted, their stepfather’s methods had disempowered and bewildered them for years.
The Way Way Back was the catalyst for an important realization for the author. Today, they are both fiercely devoted to spreading awareness about domestic abuse. They want to spread awareness of what coercive control looks like and how you might see it in various forms. The author and survivalist encourage anyone else facing what they should have to find the proper help and support.
For anyone requiring support, a variety of resources and hotlines exist internationally. In the UK, anyone can contact the national domestic abuse helpline on 0808 2000 247. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence in the United States, the national domestic violence hotline is available at 1-800-799-SAFE. Australians can access support via the national family violence counselling service at 1800 737 732. Additionally, international helplines are accessible via www.befrienders.org.
The impact of The Way Way Back extends beyond mere entertainment. It has catalyzed personal change and awareness for many individuals grappling with similar circumstances. The storyteller’s ultimate goal is to encourage YOU to share your story! Like the authors, they hope readers will identify and challenge abusive dynamics in their own lives.