Purity culture flourished in the 1990s and early 2000s. Its poisonous doctrine has ruined thousands of personal lives of the young men and women brought up under its pernicious influences. This fundamentalist movement, particularly powerful within the evangelical community, insisted on abstinence until marriage. It often depicted sexuality as something inseparably connected to sin and shame. At the heart of this cultural movement was the Southern Baptist Convention’s “True Love Waits” program, introduced in 1993. This program encouraged teens to take promises of sexual abstinence until marriage. It culminated in an exhilarating high point in 1994 when thousands of teen leaders converged on the National Mall in Washington, D.C., building a giant and colorful collective of 200,000 pledge cards.
Matt came of age in a strict evangelical Christian home. The messages he received about sex and relationships were dark and often shaming. His youth pastors usually referenced Joshua Harris’s book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye. They taught very aggressively that any sexual contact could ruin possible future marriages. “I got the message early that there was something inappropriate about that,” Matt recalled. The teachings he was exposed to largely replaced these thoughts with messages warning of dangers hiding everywhere around sexuality. This led him to even consider masturbation itself a sin.
Nate’s formative faith years were spent within a non-denominational evangelical megachurch in upstate New York. This traumatic experience did teach him to be deeply alert to any sexual impulses. So he and his classmates concocted strategies to fight what they referred to as “bad thoughts.” One of their intervention strategies included snapping rubber bands on their wrists. Reflecting on these experiences, Nate noted, “What that does – or at least, what it did in my mind – is that all women are viewed as potential wives.” This viewpoint adversely affected women’s life choices as well, making their interactions more difficult to navigate as they aged.
As purity culture hit its peak in the early 2000s, celebrities such as the Jonas Brothers became the most visible and vocal proponents. They sported “True Love Waits” purity rings, thus pushing the idea of abstaining from sex to their teenage followers even more. The reality of this culture has led to two distinct outcomes for men: those who rushed into marriage to fulfill their sexual desires often found themselves in dysfunctional relationships, while others, like Matt, entered adulthood with little to no sexual experience.
The effects of purity culture aren’t just felt in personal relationships. They’re evident in social problems too. As of today, 17 U.S. states continue to support abstinence-only sex education, a position that’s been shown to contribute to getting teens pregnant at rates above the national average. This statistic highlights the immense dangers young people encounter when they are given minimal to no thorough education on sexuality.
Experts in the field question the effects of this purity culture that stretch beyond just an abstinence-only agenda. “If men don’t heal from purity culture, they’ll keep hurting themselves and others,” Nate stated. He shared his concerns about the effects of unchallenged underlying assumptions. Unless we address these problems, people will struggle to foster good connections in their love lives, family life, work life, and civic life.
In response to these challenges, programs like the Purity Culture Dropout Program have developed. Erica Smith, an enthusiastic sex educator, started this project. It provides an affirming environment for people to share their stories about the impacts of purity culture. Smith emphasizes that “so many struggle with sexual thoughts, body image, and basic confidence,” highlighting the emotional toll that these teachings can take on individuals.
Bradley Onishi further elaborated on the harmful narratives propagated by purity culture: “It says God made you aggressive, an uncontrollable sexual beast.” This framing continues the harmful standard of toxic masculinity. It harms men by creating a toxic atmosphere that forces them to live up to these impossible ideals.
Katy, another participant in discussions surrounding purity culture, remarked on the overwhelming nature of these expectations. “It sounds like so much pressure, having to monitor your surroundings.” Such statements underscore the widespread stress that often underlies following these cultural expectations.