Mark Travers, PhD, is a psychologist with a focus on relationship science. He advocates that partners create small emotional bids every day in little rituals to help them stay intimately connected. As the lead psychologist at Awake Therapy, a telehealth company offering online psychotherapy, counseling, and coaching, he has observed that the happiest couples prioritize intentional moments together despite their busy lives.
As Dr. Travers explains, cutting out time to reconnect as a couple every day goes a long way in maintaining a positive relationship. He goes on to point out that as little as five minutes of focused attention from one partner to the other can radically improve emotional intimacy. “The happiest couples remind each other: ‘Regardless of how cruddy the day ahead might be, we’ve still got each other,’” he explains.
In practice these moments can look a lot different. The happiest couples ensure they start their day off together. Even if its only for five or ten minutes, these little interactions can help build their relationship. Or maybe you’d go grab a cup of coffee and converse about your shared itinerary. Or maybe you simply want some time to appreciate one another’s company before the hectic pace of life returns.
Travers has witnessed the magic of these small rituals to instill deeper connections in people’s lives during these busy weeks. A simple funny meme shared during a lunch break, an anecdote about daily office drama, or a quick “thinking of you” message can strengthen the emotional bond between partners.
He stresses the importance of short, consistent one-on-ones during the day. Even with a hectic calendar, these bite-sized interactions help cultivate closeness. Finally, they provide partners with a tangible shot of inspiration. “It takes just a few seconds during a coffee run or even a quick bathroom trip for one partner to check in with the other,” Travers noted.
Evenings can easily turn into disconnected parallel play as couples decompress from the daily grind. But, says Dr Travers, even the best couples know it’s important to recharge separately before meeting back. After all, “sometimes the best way to reconnect is to recharge on your own,” he writes.
To alleviate this, he suggests couples hold frequent, short nightly “check-ins.” This ensures that they can proactively repair any damage before the weekend, stopping dangerous miscommunications from stacking up. This approach allows more open communication and creates space for partners to vocalize how they feel before those feelings have time to bubble up.
Mark Travers’ comments are a promising sign that the field of psychology is taking new strides to understand the complicated dynamics of today’s relationships. His research at Awake Therapy shows that the happiest couples participate in tiny daily rituals. These rituals are what allow them to stay connected in the face of life’s distractions.