Becky Kennedy, a Columbia University-trained clinical psychologist, has gained recognition for her unique approach to parenting through her podcast “Good Inside.” As a mother of three, she emphasizes that parents should not aim to make their children happy or eliminate every challenge they face. She promotes teaching children how to process their emotions in a healthy manner. This step builds their resilience, equipping them to succeed even when times get tough.
Kennedy is clear that a parent’s most important task is being an advocate for their kids. Their job isn’t to save the day, but rather to hear from folks and provide direction. She’s an advocate for learning that is sometimes messy and often ambiguous. Times of defeatism set in quickly as well, generally stated with remarks such as “I’m dumb” or “I can’t.” Her approach helps parents acknowledge these feelings and fears while teaching children to overcome them and learn what they are truly capable of.
In Kennedy’s conversations, she illustrates the impact of how we respond to kids’ self-deprecating remarks. For instance, she urges parents to validate an emotion their child is experiencing. They can do so by saying, “You know what, this math problem is really difficult. It’s tough because it’s tough. Most importantly, she wants parents to trust that their child is capable. I can sit beside you, be in relationship with you, breathe with you,” she says. Except I won’t for you, because I know you can work this out on your own.
Kennedy emphasizes that the words parents use shape how children perceive themselves. She says, “Our words to our children become our children’s words to themselves.” As parents encourage resilience and self-efficacy in their kids by consistently validating their emotions, they drive home an important lesson. They push them to meet difficult challenges squarely.
Her culturally responsive methods not only promote children’s social and emotional development, but strengthen and empower parents. Communication Under Kennedy’s approach, rapid resiliency is phased in right away. It prepares children and their parents with foundational skills, like emotional intelligence, that lead to a productive, happy adulthood. She argues that two key competencies—self-awareness and emotional regulation—are necessary for children to grow into emotionally intelligent adults.
Kennedy has shared her insights through various media outlets, including CNBC, offering expert advice on emotional intelligence and parenting strategies. Her practice and experience always underscore the importance of an empathic but authoritative style when it comes to regulating children’s feelings.