Sadly, Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is one of the most stigmatized and misunderstood mental health disorders today, resulting in heavy stigma and misperceptions. The gender imbalance in Narcissistic Personality Disorder As much as 75% of people with a diagnosis of NPD are male. Research suggests that narcissism in women tends to manifest in a more subtle, vulnerable form. This distinction highlights the complexities of narcissism, which can be categorized into two main types: grandiose (overt) and vulnerable (covert).
This is because grandiose narcissism is the version we often think of, which tends towards outwardly aggressive behaviors and excessive attention-seeking. Vulnerable narcissism, which is diagnosed less often, is marked by high sensitivity and emotional fragility. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5), primarily glosses over the less obvious signs of narcissism. It mostly ignores the more subtle nuances of covert narcissism.
Tennyson Lee, an NHS consultant psychiatrist, emphasizes the genetic components associated with NPD. He argues that understanding these basic elements can help us better understand the chaos that is special education. Clinical practice for those with narcissistic traits is deeply inequitable across the UK. Unfortunately, most clinicians will be reluctant to diagnose NPD due to its messy and complicated nature.
People—young people, in particular—like Kaelah Oberdorf, a 23-year-old diagnosed with NPD and BPD, find themselves in the midst of challenges that few would understand or recognize. She reflects on her upbringing, stating, “Nothing was off-limits when my family members were insulting me when I was growing up.” We see how those formative experiences color her views on relationships and conflict resolution.
Oberdorf acknowledges her struggles with criticism and rejection: “I really struggle with handling criticism and rejection… if I hear that the problem is me, I either go into defence mode or I completely shut down.” Her window into her own perspective is a window into the stormy inner landscape that characterizes so many with this diagnosis – NPD.
John, another 38-year-old from Leeds, had a thorough clinical assessment and it was found that he did indeed have NPD. His case serves to spotlight the far too often patchy access to mental health services for those fighting their own battles with narcissism.
University of Georgia psychology professor W. Keith Campbell, an expert on narcissism, says there’s a lot of misunderstanding about what a “narcissist” is. “Everyone calls everybody a narcissist, but it’s not always clear what is meant by the term,” he explains. This vagueness does a disservice to the public’s understanding of narcissism and adds to the stigma attached to those with NPD.
This is what Lee has to say about social media’s role in teaching young people about narcissism. Perhaps most importantly, he wants to drive home the point that misinformation is not just misleading, it can further legitimize damaging stereotypes about those living with NPD.
Oberdorf expresses a profound awareness of this stigma: “If you have a problem, and you are constantly being told that people with your type of specific problem are unworthy… why would you want to admit that you have that problem?” Her reflections go beyond just the technical requirements on schools—they highlight a societal problem when it comes to perceptions and acceptance of mental health disorders.
As difficult as these journeys can be, both Oberdorf and Spring take comfort in helping others who are going through the same thing. Oberdorf notes the importance of community: “Seeing that you’re not alone in what you’re struggling with… hearing coping mechanisms can be invaluable.”