As the world of online dating continues to change, people are looking to artificial intelligence to help. One of the most impressive tools in this field is ChatGPT. Users are flocking to it and using its potential as a kind of digital dating coach in order to better swipe, match, and interact on dating apps. This trend has led to a huge social experiment in how we make intimate, interpersonal connections. Today, they’re tackling the realities of today’s courtship with swaggering self-assurance.
Nick, a Londoner, 38, is one of the users who now uses ChatGPT as part of his dating game. He thinks the AI is most useful when discussions stall out or need an additional nudge to keep things going. I’m creating a really deep bond with the person that I’m speaking with. Whenever the conversation itself is rolling, I don’t have a rationale for deploying it,” he says. When things get stuck, that’s when he turns to ChatGPT for help. I could say, ‘Okay, provide an interesting, entertaining, funny response to this one that’s going to be a conversation starter.’
Rich, another user of ChatGPT who we’ll be following, tried to harness the chatbot’s abilities to help him write a first message to his match Sarah. Unfortunately, despite his efforts, she never replied. Rich followed ChatGPT’s guidance and came up with a draft first touchpoint message. He intentionally chose to send it on a Monday, mid-morning, thinking that timing would create the right mood for their engagement.
Jamil, a 25-year-old from Leicester, who uses ChatGPT daily and calls it his “full-time wingman.” He sees ChatGPT as a tool to “hack” the dating apps. He loves how it enables him to steer clear of the coded language that’s become a hallmark of contemporary courtship. Each one of Jamil’s experiences illustrates the role that ChatGPT plays in helping users learn to assume charm while avoiding emotional attachment. Whether their chat flows into memes or childhood traumas, he observes that because ChatGPT can produce messages that are short and flirtatious, it proves particularly effective for online dating conversations.
32-year-old user Rachel had a radically different experience with ChatGPT.… She was “Chatfished,” by someone who used the AI to generate convincing but ultimately inauthentic-seeming text. This situation raised concerns about authenticity in our online engagements. Moreover, it underscored just how easily AI can deceive by making it difficult to distinguish reality from a well-structured script.
Holly, a fellow ChatGPT user, agreed and elaborated on how she appreciates the tool for assisting her in delivering strong messaging. The main reason I think I use AI is because I can write like super long responses,” she confesses. Holly employs ChatGPT to adjust her tone as needed, requesting changes like “Please make this softer and more clear” or “I need to sound harsher here so he understands I’m upset.” She wants to make sure that the AI doesn’t just spit out answers that don’t really sound like her. She approaches them with open arms. Here’s what Holly had to say about her experience. Sure it created a few conceptions that aren’t 100% me, but I just leaned into those concepts.
Francesca’s experience emphasizes another key aspect to consider when using AI in dating. As an autistic woman navigating the sometimes overwhelming world of online dating, ChatGPT has been there for her. As an autistic woman, I already have tremendous barriers in today’s world where dating apps are the norm. Meeting anybody has been a huge challenge for me,” she says. For her, ChatGPT is more than a fun diversion — it’s a portal to deeper relationships.
The effects of AI on dating go far beyond personal experiences. And according to a recent YouGov poll, it’s becoming increasingly common—nearly half of Americans aged 18-34 report having had a situationship. These are murky connections that defy easy identification. This trend could be associated with the growing use of technology such as ChatGPT in the romantic world.
Paul C. Brunson, a relationship expert, comments on the changing nature of dating apps: “Dating apps are kind of mislabelled.” His experience, he notes, shows that Americans are turning to AI more and more to help point the way. This trend could be upending the historical dating paradigms.