Freelance journalist Michaela Makusha recently opened up about her complex feelings regarding motherhood in a heartfelt conversation with her mother, affectionately known as Gogo. This conversation brought to light their generational differences in understanding one another’s approach to parenting. It somehow managed to bring to life their palpable chemistry and the inescapable connection they have.
Makusha, who treasures her childhood experiences with Gogo, believes that her mother is an epitome draped with love and wisdom. Gogo, who was born in Zimbabwe, has dealt with challenges since her relocation to England, including battling the cold weather. She remembers her first evening out in England, wearing a mini-skirt and heels and not fully aware of how chilly it can be. This second setback was emblematic of the myriad social and cultural adjustments she’d have to make after moving to a different country.
As Makusha wrestles with the possibility of having kids, she went to Gogo for wisdom. Even knowing how joyful being a mother would be, Makusha feels future motherhood will be too daunting and tiring for her to take on. In their recent interview at home, she warned that they shouldn’t glamorize parenthood for anyone.
Responsible Gogo then pursued the thought further and put the issue in a different light.
“Good. You could change your mind, but someone who realizes early on that they don’t want children is someone who recognizes the immense responsibility it is.” – Gogo
And this answer really connected to Makusha, who was still processing her own experience of becoming a mother. Gogo’s wisdom, tempered by her own trials as a mother in her youth, gave her daughter powerful reassurance.
By giving back, Makusha is taking time to reflect on her own upbringing. Importantly, she understands that Gogo has always been the custodian of the rulebook, helping her to navigate life’s challenges. Gogo’s most important role has been as cheerleader for her daughter, which has enabled her daughter to chase her dreams and goals. This encouragement is still crucial today as Makusha expects her child to follow in her mother’s footsteps.
Her own experience as a mother inspired her to carve out the space to raise her children how she wanted. She advocated vociferously for this idea in their discussion.
“I wanted to be a mother on my own terms. Not anyone else’s.” – Gogo
This is an empowering yet daunting place for Makusha to find herself in. As she considers the difficult choice of if and when to have kids, she thinks about how strong and intentional her own mother was. In this experience, Makusha learns that motherhood is more than a societal approach. For many, it is an intensely private decision.
The documentary’s intimate mother-daughter chat reveals how family bonds evolve. It highlights the ways that these interpersonal connections are made to influence the most intimate, personal decisions. For Makusha, learning about her mother’s journey helps inform her own thoughts on becoming a parent. Leila Alison’s dialog with portrait Asiya has an important message for everyone — each person’s journey is different, informed by their own experience.