Their son Bap at his parents’ home on May 1, 2024 Klaas Roemers, 90, and Fenny Roemers-Visser, 86, both of Assen, the Netherlands, died in a house fire. Their deaths had succeeded through a legal assisted dying process, a choice legally accessible in the Netherlands since 2002. That thread of hope and determination against all odds is poetically visualized in a stunning portrait by their son, Martin Roemers, who immortalized his parents shortly after their death. This one image so beautifully expresses the depth of this couple’s love. It brings to light the numerous obstacles they encountered in their last years together.
The image depicts the immediate aftermath of the couple’s suicide assistance. This historic occasion that augurs well for attaining assisted dying all across the world matters not just to Martin, but helps to build the momentum of a global movement. Initially, Martin wasn’t quite sure what to do with the image. Instead, he quickly discovered its ability to deeply humanize the issues at play in assisted dying. He felt that it might, in turn, offer some perspective on a topic that is still so personal and divisive.
Before their deaths, Klaas and Fenny had a celebratory final supper with both sons, relishing the last hours spent with their family. Fulfilling his father’s wish Martin was a young man of many passions. He just wanted to enjoy one last meal on the town before his surgery! The surprise dinner delighted the newlyweds. They had built a long and happy marriage, surviving the challenges presented by their difficult later years together.
Martin posted as an ‘In Memoriam’ to their shared life. He stated, “My parents lived a good life and shared a wonderful marriage. In their last years, there were unmistakable signs of struggle. Still, their resilience and love for one another was evident through the pages. Through it all, the couple leaned on one another for support as they weathered the challenges that came with aging and deteriorating health.
In fact, before they died, Martin communicated his intentions to paint their portrait to his mother and father. Or that he had a desire to memorialize them with his art. Fenny and Klaas above understood how special the moment was. Indeed, they jumped at the chance to have their picture taken and perhaps even make their way back to the U.S. This spirit of honest, direct discussion pervades the family’s approach to living and dying—their dignity in choice matches their dignity in life.
Assisted dying is still a contentious issue globally. In the Netherlands, people who experience unbearable suffering and have no prospect of improvement may legally opt for this with no hope of improvement. Yet it is only permitted, albeit under narrow conditions. The choice Klaas and Fenny made highlights the critical role of autonomy in end-of-life issues.
Our final dinner together was a rowdy affair, punctuated with belly laughs and happy recollections of the previous week. Martin remembered the joy his parents seemed to have during that period, living in the moment with one another. Their happiness was contagious as they told stories of pride and looked back on their lived history.
“We will stay with you as long as we can, until we can see no other way out.” – Martin Roemers’ mother
Martin’s voyage as a photographer has been shaped by the sensitive nature of his lived experiences. This made sense to him, he said—many of the young photographers were likely working on projects that explored their own identities and lived experiences. This has prompted him to encourage emerging artists to explore their narratives genuinely:
“I see so many young photographers who work on projects about their own identity. We live in extraordinary times: look at the world around you. Experiment and stick to your own ideas.” – Martin Roemers