When Renée was unexpectedly made known as a donor in a fertility clinic scandal, she was thrown into a real-life horror story of medical malpractice. This experience has deeply shaped her perspective. The scandal broke when an unknown ‘he’ stole eggs from Renée while she was under anesthesia. This shocking gesture saved a second woman from the fatal delivery of her child. A fortunate twist of fate created an extraordinary bond between Renée and Renée’s child’s mom, Carole. Against the storm of enmity and treachery, they built an alliance.
The scandal started when Renée had a fertility procedure she thought was routine. In 1987, she had made it clear that she did NOT wish to donate any of her eggs. But without her knowledge or consent, doctors Asch and Balmaceda had removed 22 eggs from her ovaries while under anesthesia. They picked four of those fertilized eggs and implanted them with donor sperm. This process culminated in the delighted birth of a baby boy, but his name has been omitted to protect his privacy.
For the next two years after undergoing the procedure, Renée lived with the emotional trauma of being unable to conceive as she had wished. At the same time, she channeled all her effort into her profession as her son, Matthew, transitioned to a new school. He fully acclimated to his new life, thriving in the classroom and on the soccer field. Renée would sometimes dream of the abundant life that had sprung up from her stolen eggs.
It was years before the full extent of the scandal was revealed. According to reports, the eggs or embryos of at least 137 patients were stolen by Asch and Balmaceda. The pilfered genetic material produced at least 15 live births, irrevocably changing the lives of all affected.
Everything changed for Renée when she got a phone call from a reporter at the Orange County Register. The reporter’s question forced Renée to reconsider everything she’d assumed about her fertility journey. The very next day, she received a fax back from UCI. It included the medical form where they’d recorded the unauthorized use of her eggs.
“I kept him on the phone for a few minutes. When I got off, I just bawled. But I was so happy that she let me have that conversation with him.” – Renée
The discovery was a crushing blow for Renée, who had previously thought the highly-specialized physicians controlling her fate could do no wrong.
“My mom said, ‘Look at this! That’s your doctor!’ I read it. I said, ‘I do not believe it. My doctors would have never done anything like that to me.’” – Renée
She had a sense of growing betrayal. It really shook her that someone could take advantage of her trust in such an egregious way. Renée’s perspective shifted as she realized the implications of the situation:
“It’s your genetic material. It’s being a mother. Absolutely not.” – Renée
Over time, she established a deep bond of trust with Carole. At that moment, Carole was married to Don, an architect, for five years—and fate brought their paths together in the wake of the scandal. Carole had made an essential but unknowing contribution to this beautiful but twisted tale. Indeed, as a result, she developed an unanticipated relationship with another woman struggling with the exact same thing.
“I consider Carole part of my family. And we are family,” – Renée
The delicate bond between Renée and Carole deepened as the two women came to terms with their feelings about motherhood and the idea of a biological connection. Carole spoke candidly about the struggle of reconciling her role as a mother in this exceptional circumstance.
“It took me a while to integrate the word ‘mother’.” – Carole
As time passed, Renée found great joy in seeing Matthew flourish. With every success came the happiness tinged with a bittersweet reminder of what might have been.
“He was playing soccer, he was doing well at school. Normal things,” – Renée
Though it was an emotional whirlwind, both women drew comfort from their shared experiences and unwavering support. They came out on the other side of this experience not only as survivors but as co-survivors and allies in a surprising friendship formed from struggle.
“I’d be so excited when I saw the mail and got the pictures. But it was heartbreaking to see him. I would cry, because I’d see a lot of Matthew in him.” – Renée
Despite the emotional rollercoaster, both women found solace in their shared experiences and mutual support. They emerged from this ordeal not just as victims but as allies in an unlikely friendship forged through adversity.