Melody Wilding, an executive coach and human behavior professor, offers valuable insights into effective communication and relationship-building in the workplace. With the help of her vast research and field experience, she highlights how linguistic decisions can shift or influence perceptions. Wilding’s work provides strategies for individuals seeking to improve their influence and succeed at work, particularly in navigating relationships with colleagues and superiors.
Wilding is the author of “Managing Up: How to Get What You Need from the People in Charge,” where she addresses the complexities of workplace dynamics. She obtained her insight through the conversations with over 70 parents of highly accomplished adults. From these discussions, she revealed communication practices that build the kind of trustful connections. One thing that stood out in these conversations was the stark contrast in wording coming from the parents of high achievers. By the same token, alternative phrases can sound shaming or condescending.
As Wilding points out, small changes in language can make a big difference in how messages are interpreted. She cautions that little course corrections may read much more severely than you intend, and this can ruin workplace relations. Rather, she argues that we need to rethink how to communicate.
Wilding recommends beginning hard conversations by reflecting what you’ve learned, or summarizing what you heard. This approach goes a long way toward not only affirming the other person’s viewpoint but creating a culture of teamwork and partnership. For instance, she advises using phrases like “You’re right about [X situation], and something else to consider is…” This type of discussion fosters open dialogue without shutting down the conversation and brings in new perspectives in a thoughtful way.
In her exploration of effective communication strategies, Wilding emphasizes the importance of positioning personal opinions as just one perspective among many. She suggests you use language like, “One thing that’s been successful for me … ” or “An alternative solution I’m thinking is … ” Such expressions make clear that you are expressing an idea rather than trying to force or dictate it to others, thus encouraging a more collaborative conversation.
Wilding’s philosophy, rooted in positive youth development, aims to cultivate meaningful relationships between young people and adult supporters. She’s convinced these links are the number one thing winners leverage to deepen their relationships. By learning to engage and persuade others in positive and productive ways, participants will find themselves developing deeper connections with their peers and leaders.
“The number one thing successful people do to build relationships.” – CNBC