Dr. Rami Kaminski, a psychiatrist and author, has introduced a new term that is gaining attention in the realms of psychology and social interactions: “otrovert.” The word “otroverts” originates from the Spanish word “otro,” or “other.” This idea turns our understanding of social belonging and relationships between others on their head. The charm of Dr. Kaminski, who has spent more than four decades working closely with international leaders and elite experts, conveys a captivating revelation. As he explains, otroverts possess a unique orientation that often makes them outliers.
Otroverts are marked by an extreme lack of a collective instinct, something he calls non-belonging. This trait is not confined to any one group; it is seen across ethnicities, cultures, and genders. For some, it’s energizing to feel part of a larger cohort. Conversely, introverts energize when they can engage in meaningful discussions with their best friends or in small groups.
Dr. Kaminski’s work on otroverts sheds light on a different social dynamic. Unlike introverts, who often need to recharge after long periods of social interaction, otroverts flourish in deep, intense conversations with just a few. They thrive on personal experiences, just like savoring a homemade meal shared with a companion. They retreat from the loud, overstimulating environment of social situations, including galas.
The concept of otroverts offers a refreshing perspective on the traditional belief that rich and fulfilling lives must involve group memberships. Dr. Kaminski notes that even many extroverts refrain from being the first person to speak up in a meeting at work. Instead, they’re more likely to sit back and watch the conversation unfold. This tendency can cause them to feel isolated even in a group of friends.
Friedrich Nietzsche, the famous philosopher, is often quoted as the archetypal otrovert. His thoughts on loneliness speak to so many of those who connect with this burgeoning archetype. Nietzsche would likely argue that only through knowing ourselves do we find the fullness our souls crave, not through worldly approval.
“No one can construct for you the bridge upon which precisely you must cross the stream of life, no one but you yourself alone.” – Friedrich Nietzsche
This idea made for homegrown self-reliance creates a common throughline across many other otroverts’ experiences. One individual shared a sentiment that reflects this sense of disconnection:
“Like I’m not part of it, which is odd as these are all my friends. I know they like me and are happy I’m there, but I still don’t feel connected. I only feel lonely or bored when I’m with many people, and not when I’m with one or two close friends or when I’m alone.” – A
The conversation about otroverts touches on really profound things, like how our society views social interaction and belongingness. Today, many people think that connectivity is just having access to a million other people. Otroverts remind us to flip that script, teaching us that when it comes to our relationships, quality always trumps quantity.
The Gift of Not Belonging, delves further into these themes. It aims to make the haunting experiences of everyone who has ever felt out of place within standard social hierarchies cool. Rather than view the power of non-belonging as a liability to overcome, he makes the case for identifying it as a superpower.
He claims that simply identifying yourself as an otrovert can be a liberating experience. It provides people the space to pursue their own, idiosyncratic social rhythms without judgment or expectation to fit into prescriptive notions of what community should be. Finally, the emotional clarity that results from knowing who you are can lead to more profound relationships with people who share that journey.