SCOTT BARRY KAUFMAN is an eminent psychologist and adjunct associate professor at Barnard College of Columbia University. He’s giving the world some extremely valuable clues that will help us to thrive, prosper, and lead fulfilling lives. His recent work argues that to make a real impact, we need to reframe the way we approach problems. By reframing Why questions as What questions, we can improve our creative problem-solving ability. She believes the only real obstacle to experiencing fulfillment is the fear that’s left in the wake of our experiences.
In his new book, released in April, Kaufman takes a more scientific approach to the notion that to “unlearn fear.” To him, fear is not an effective choice but rather an emotional reflex conditioned by former traumas and experiences. This apprehension frequently discourages people from pursuing their dreams. Kaufman names failure, rejection and the unknown as such fears that hold people back from fulfilling their potential—and their happiness.
Kaufman believes people have the power to decide whether they want to live in fear or be excited by new economic possibilities. He states, “You can, in any moment, decide to live and make the fear decision or make the growth decision. You have more control over that than you realize.” This approach welcomes fears and urges us to face them instead of running away from what intimidates us.
When confronted with outsize givens, Kaufman observes that most of us quickly succumb to despair. Yet, he’s an optimist — and he thinks this kind of mindset absolutely can be changed. “Our default state is to have a sense of helplessness when we get overwhelmed,” he explains. Rather than give in to this instinct, he suggests seeking to reframe failures as rich learning opportunities.
Kaufman makes the point that avoiding challenges is a normal response, yet it results in standing still. He implores people to see failure not as a dead-end on the road but a pit stop on the journey. “Failure is a pitstop where people refuel their journey and redirect their approach,” he asserts.
So, to develop a growth mindset, how should we get there? To cultivate that outlook, Kaufman encourages developing an approach based on curiosity and openness. “If we approach life with a sense of flexibility and embracing all that life has to offer, we learn that everything can teach us something,” he says. This newfound mindset encourages people to face their fears and keep looking forward at the same time.
Kaufman’s approach goes hand-in-hand with the art of asking good questions. He suggests that instead of pondering why one feels a certain way, individuals should ask themselves what they need at that moment. “Asking, ‘what’ questions — ‘What do I need right now, in this moment?’ — these lead to a whole upward spiral of productive questions,” he explains. This approach not only provides greater understanding of the feelings at play but signals routes toward possible remedy.
Instead, Kaufman asks for a move away from this fear-based thinking to a growth-centered mindset. His life’s mission is to help people stop letting life happen to them. He argues that facing fears and looking for opportunities to learn can radically improve the way you live your life.