Karen Palmer’s life started spiraling out of control after she fell in love with and married an abusive, drug-addicted man named Gil Palmer. Hungry for attention, she fell in love with him and married the sorry sponge in May of ’80. Their fairy tale romance turned sour when, weeks before their wedding day, she caught him cheating. That announcement was just the starting point of an unpredictable, treacherous path paved with fear, bravery, and finally, safety.
After having two daughters, Erin and Amy, Karen’s life became a constant struggle against Gil’s controlling nature. A few weeks before their wedding, she found him with another woman. This shocking incident deeply shook her to the core. Dismayed by this betrayal, she still married him, believing things would be different. What happened was the exact opposite of what she dreamed.
Once Karen had had enough with Gil, she found refuge in the arms of a mutual friend, Vinnie. Working together, they undertook a frantic campaign to locate Gil and save both his life and their own skin. They canvassed the neighborhoods, passing out flyers and phoning anyone and everyone who might have seen him.
For nearly two years, Karen and Vinnie were afraid to speak out for fear of his retribution. Gil pursued them savagely, uttering threats that froze the blood in their veins.
“I carted the tape with me everywhere because it was evidence of this thing that happened, but I was afraid of hearing his voice,” – Karen Palmer
The newlyweds finally took the plunge and moved to Boulder, Colorado, to get out of Gil’s claw. To form this new identity, they completely reassumed their identity under the Palmer name and began the process of reconstruction. Karen focused on building her graphic design career as Vinnie worked on his restored furniture business. Life in Boulder was an opposite from the war and conflict they had fled from.
Gil’s threats haunted Karen for years.
“I spent 20 years questioning whether I had done the right thing, and that felt terrible,” – Karen Palmer
In her memoir, “She’s Under Here,” Karen attempts to answer the lingering questions about her experiences and the choices she made. She describes her journey as a “do-it-yourself witness protection. Yet, this emphasizes the lengths she had to go to in order to protect her family.
Karen’s story of survival goes much further than just getting out of an abusive relationship. It is a searing indictment of the struggle against mothers that come with trying conditions. She had to make deeply painful decisions even as she fought hardest to keep her daughters safe.
“But I did the right thing – and I’d do it again,” – Karen Palmer
Years later, even talking about their escape from Los Angeles conjures up rock-steady memories for Karen.
“It’s a big thing to take a man’s children away. It’s the worst thing you can do to somebody,” – Karen Palmer
When she thinks back on the experience, she remembers the fear and the excitement that came with escaping the domestic violence.
“I have such a clear memory of the day we left Los Angeles,” – Karen Palmer
As of today, Karen and Vinnie are still happily married. They currently reside in Los Angeles and are diligently establishing themselves and building a life together. The couple has weathered many storms but emerged stronger through their shared experiences.
“It was this weird combination of fear and exhilaration, heart pounding, driving into the unknown,” – Karen Palmer
Today, Karen and Vinnie are still married and reside in Los Angeles, where they continue to build their lives together. The couple has weathered many storms but emerged stronger through their shared experiences.