Successful couples often share specific habits that foster intimacy and connection, according to insights from psychotherapist Amy Morin and relationship expert Sara Nasserzadeh. Their work underscores the value of tactile connection and rich communicative forms, especially at nighttime rituals. These rituals create a strong emotional connection, resulting in couples who score higher on measures of relationship quality.
Morin points out that happy couples understand the value of physical touch, from rubbing their partner’s feet to further increase their emotional bond. This unique form of affection is a practical, easy and effective way to show someone how much you love and appreciate them. Physical touch is a foundation of many couples’ relationships, offering warmth and confirmation between partners.
The Importance of Gratitude
Beyond learning the importance of physical touch, winning couples make gratitude a part of their nightly routine. Morin points out that even a simple act of gratitude at the end of the day can help us sleep better. This new practice encourages partners to consider what went well throughout their day and celebrate those moments. Accomplishing that can create a deep feeling of safety and happiness.
“You’re grateful that your coworker showed up on time for the meeting, or that somebody delivered a cup of coffee to you,” – Sara Nasserzadeh.
Oy and Joy: A Unique Shared Experience
Perhaps the second most important ritual of successful couples is to share more oy than joy, explains Nasserzadeh. This practice involves sharing the struggles (oy) and the blessings (joy) of the day with the group. When couples are able to process sadness in addition to happiness, they cultivate greater emotional intimacy.
“Oy are the things that are heavy on your chest, brought you sadness,” – Sara Nasserzadeh.
When couples prioritize time for “oy and joy” each evening, partners build a new culture of communication that allows freedom to check in with one another. This ritual is a place where not only can they vent frustrations, but celebrate accomplishments together. As Nasserzadeh illustrates, balancing the two extremes allows love to be created and recreated throughout the marriage, strengthening the emotional bonds between partners.
Consistency is Key
For the development of beneficial relationship rituals, both Morin and Nasserzadeh stress that consistency is the key. In fact, successful couples design shared rituals into their day and commit to them over time, doubling down on the emotional connection they cultivate. Collecting even a few minutes of time in quiet contemplation can deepen the experience with an unexpected beauty. Relishing in an extended kiss doesn’t just reinforce that emotional intimacy—it helps create it.
“It’s all about just having that connection,” – Amy Morin.