In a heartfelt reflection, a writer reveals the challenges of living with a partner who struggles with severe obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). Married for 18 years, the writer describes their spouse as "difficult," citing the partner's stubbornness and pride as significant barriers to improvement. The situation has escalated to a point where the writer feels their spouse's condition leaves them barely functioning, creating an unbalanced dynamic in the marriage.
The couple’s journey took a pivotal turn a year ago when the partner insisted on emigrating, believing that a fresh start would alleviate their issues. Despite the writer's years of support and efforts to help their spouse recover, they now find themselves contemplating whether to remain in the marriage. The unresolved tension weighs heavily on both the writer and their children, leading to a growing concern about the impact of their partner's behavior on family life.
The writer expresses frustration over a one-sided relationship, feeling that their emotional and mental energy has been depleted over the years. They grapple with the decision of whether to stay in a marriage fraught with chaos or to confront the painful reality of ending it. Seeking guidance from therapist Philippa Perry, the writer hopes to clarify their feelings and assess the best path forward.
The struggle is not merely personal; it extends to the couple's children, whom the writer worries are also affected by the ongoing turmoil. The writer acknowledges that pretending everything is okay is no longer sustainable and fears that continuing in this manner would further strain familial bonds.
As they navigate these complex emotions and circumstances, the writer stands at a crossroads. They must weigh the commitment made 18 years ago against the toll that the current situation is taking on their well-being and that of their children.