Divorcee, women’s rights activist and Change ambassador Rafia Afi is using social media to document her experiences. She is spearheading a series of progressive camps in Kerala to help women who are victims of marital abuse or want to file for divorce. Afi fosters a safe, non-judgmental and supportive space with each of these retreats. Women are able to participate in storytelling circles, learn from each other’s experiences, and take part in restorative dialogues.
The camps, which accommodate 15 to 20 women from diverse backgrounds, take place over two days and feature nature-themed activities held several weekends each month. Afi offers complimentary spots to those who would otherwise be unable to pay the 1,700 rupee fee — roughly £15. This ensures that financial hardship will not be a barrier to participation for anyone. The impact of achieving these goals has already made a positive difference in the lives of almost 150 women. Today, there’s a huge interest in such camps in bigger cities such as Bengaluru and Mumbai.
Afi’s motivation stems from her personal experiences. But following her divorce last year, she set out to reclaim her independence. While she was inspiringly making space for young women, she understood the need for supportive spaces for other women.
“My marriage was traumatic and the divorce difficult. I had forgotten how to smile from the heart. But at the camp, we cried, we laughed, and I let out all my emotions for the first time in 15 years,” – Surya Kalarikkal.
Through this, Afi aims to challenge the prevailing societal norms that make divorce a taboo topic. She argues that too frequently, people view divorce as sinful, forcing some to opt for death instead of divorce. Her goal is to change the story being told. She wants women to view leaving a bad marriage as a brave thing to do.
“Suicides and murders linked to marital abuse are happening all around us, and I want parents to realize that walking out of a bad marriage is an act of courage,” – Afi.
In line with her mission, Afi has recently begun integrating legal counsel into her camps. Participants often report feeling ashamed and confused at the thought of even contemplating divorce. In order to assist them, she emphasizes teaching them their divorce rights and the safety laws surrounding the divorce process.
“I started conducting legal sessions to bridge that gap,” Afi explains. “Many blamed themselves for breaking up their families by contemplating divorce; the objective is to break societal norms around gender abuse and educate every woman on her rights, divorce and safety laws.”
It is this emotional support, cultivated at these retreats, that builds a sisterhood between participants. Friendships among the women grow into permanent connections as they navigate life journeying together.
“Earlier, I was gloomy and depressed. I now feel motivated to move forward with my life,” says Shifna, a camp attendee. “Within a day, we became like sisters, and stayed up the whole night talking.”
Afi’s retreats are more than just India! As of June, she started a camp in Dubai due to the overwhelming response of Indian women residing in UAE. Her outreach is a testament to the increasing awareness of the need for these empowering environments here and from coast to coast.
Afi’s approach to divorce is one of empowerment and dignity. She reminds women not to view it as the conclusion, rather it should be viewed as something different altogether, a new beginning.
“Divorce is not an end, it’s a beginning,” Afi states. “Divorce can be beautiful too, when two people decide they do not want to be together.”
As these camps grow and change, Afi looks forward to making more content in English so we can spread the work to a wider audience. She is dedicated to continuing to normalize divorce in society and breaking the stigma around it.
“The idea is to normalize divorce and give it dignity,” she explains.
Participants often leave feeling rejuvenated and empowered.
“When women hug and thank me at the end, and then keep in touch with each other even after the camp, I feel stronger,” Afi reflects.