As we see in a growing trend among middle-aged couples, called “silver splitters,” most people – 74 percent – find greater happiness after a divorce. As obvious examples go, just look at MacKenzie Scott and her ex-husband Jeff Bezos. Scott was 48 at the time of her 2019 divorce from Bezos. In her exit announcements, she has been quite clear that post-split she’s “very happy.” Bezos, now 55, has passed the torch in his first marriage, recently reaping the rewards of a historic wedding in Venice.
The phrase “silver splitters” refers to couples who enter a divorce agreement in older age. This tends to occur when they are in their mid-40s to mid-60s. The poll of more than 2,000 women aged 45 to 65 was recently commissioned by Survation. Of these respondents, 220 were divorcees, and the survey offers insight into the emotional aftermath of their divorces. For every woman who is crying and depressed post-split, there are many more who are feeling liberated and relieved. On the opposite end of the spectrum, men are usually reeling and lost.
Scott and Bezos were married for 25 years prior to their divorce. This event has opened up much-needed conversations about the emotional toll that can come with big transitions in life. Yet, as Bezos moves on to this next chapter in life, Scott’s happiness is a testament to the possibility of post-divorce personal development.
Bill Gates, who ended his marriage after 27 years, reflected on his experience, calling it “the mistake I most regret.” His ex-wife Melinda French Gates has said that since their split she is “very happy.” This dramatic difference in feelings underscores the angst born of divorce for both men and women being worlds apart.
Behavioral scientist Paul Dolan uncovers one such surprising truth in his book, Happy Ever After. Surprisingly, nearly one in three (31%) Americans report feeling happier than they’ve ever been since getting a divorce. This further corroborates previous findings from a 2005 Association of American Geographers survey. That survey’s results indicated that women are more likely to accept and encourage positive emotions surrounding a breakup.
One divorcee from our most recent survey, who we’re calling Pat and who is 55 years old, recently told us how she found her metamorphosis.
“I want other women to know that my rebirth, my return to my true self post-divorce, has been an amazing experience. I am now so much happier.” – Pat
These stories reveal a central reality — our justice system is brutal and dehumanizing by design. For most women, divorce is the catalyst for a deeper pursuit of identity and purpose. As society continues to evolve, the stigma around divorce appears to diminish, allowing individuals to pursue paths that lead to happiness and contentment.