The 4B movement took South Korea by storm in 2016. Yet, despite its flaws, it has sparked an incredibly resonant discussion about women’s agency in marriage, reproduction, dating and sex. As part of a broader #MeToo-style feminist resurgence, this movement has gained traction, reflecting a shift in societal values and expectations regarding women’s roles.
At its heart, the 4B movement is a four-part rejection of the conventional routes usually taken by women. It wasn’t the first time, but this rejection has resonated with many women across Korea. Not surprisingly, conversations about feminism and agency have become much more prevalent. That movement faced a number of serious obstacles. That’s how in 2022 right-wing politician Yoon Suk Yeol was able to galvanize support for himself from men’s rights voters and win the presidency. This extreme rightward political shift has spurred fears both far and wide that this hard-won feminist progress might not be sustainable in our country.
Rebecca Solnit is one of our most important feminist writers. In her essay “The Mother of All Questions,” for instance, she wrestles in the present tense with ideas around childlessness, womanhood, and societal expectations. In her current work, she explores the idiosyncrasies of being a childfree woman. Most importantly, she brings to light some big names who have lived this experience, like Oprah Winfrey, Alison Brie, Amy Tan, and Frida Kahlo. Below, Solnit articulates the contradictory pressures women experience around motherhood and broader social expectations with striking clarity.
“Such questions seem to come out of the sense that there are not women, the 51% of the human species who are as diverse in their wants and as mysterious in their desires as the other 49%.” – Rebecca Solnit
The author of this article weaves in and out of the “1.5B” designation, which represents anti-reproductive and pro-dating-marriage ambivalence. This personable identification resonates deeply with some of the most important currents within the 4B movement. It highlights a growing trend of women deliberately choosing different trajectories for their lives. In sharing their experiences, the author highlights cultural practices tied to family and ancestry, including annual visits to burial mounds and Buddhist ceremonies prepared by their parents.
On a visit to the Cheonmasan Bogwangsa temple with their partner, the author reflects on maintaining that fine line between respecting family heritage. They take a deep dive into the struggle to define their own individual identity. This duality is best embodied by their intent to keep sharpening their Korean language skills. The author’s high school Korean American Korean language classes. As their lifepaths continue to take them in different directions, this decision allows them to reconnect with their mother and fortify their family ties.
In modern South Korean society, family expectations can collide with societal pressure. The pressure to conform to the world around can make for painful conversations about childlessness and family structure. In the book, the author shares conversations with their parents that reflect these contradictory narratives.
“When are you going to start a family?” – Anonymous
These types of questions expose the expectations inherent in womanhood and success. It’s the responses from the author’s parents that really convey a mixture of resignation and acceptance about the unpredictability of life.
“You might have to put me in a nursing home. It’s OK – when it gets bad, you don’t know where you are.” – Mom
This relationship dynamic perfectly reflects the tension between family obligation and self-determination. In many ways, these conversations are a microcosm into what is happening throughout our society in terms of self-determination of individuals and how we define family today.
Solnit’s reflections resonate deeply within this context. She brings a deep understanding of what being childless means on an individual and collective basis.
“The planet is unable to sustain more first-world people.” – Rebecca Solnit
This framing pushes back against traditional narratives that focus on the ways motherhood is a source of fulfillment and achievement for women. As this happens, the narrative around childlessness shifts from individual to worldwide.
As the author’s experiences illustrate, there are deeper layers to this narrative of autonomy. They share about receiving a series of laser resurfacing while in Korea and how this treatment played a role in their own self-acceptance and empowerment journey. It serves as representation of a deliberate decision to define oneself apart from cultural norms that dictate what family is supposed to look like.
As South Korea contends with its shifting gender landscape, these discussions surrounding childlessness repeatedly arise, often leading to public outrage. These kinds of conversations are a testament to evolving priorities for the younger generation, who are placing more emphasis on passion over profession.
“The planet is unable to sustain more first-world people.” – Rebecca Solnit
Women—young women especially—are going after everything they want, in terms of love, work, freedom. Yet, all too often, they succumb to societal pressures that question their wisdom and their decisions. Movements like 4B and advocates like Solnit help them find hope and resilience in their experiences.