In the 1990s, in a small Texas town, a boy named Stefan navigated a unique education system that kept him mostly at home, away from traditional schooling. His mother was the creative force behind this unusual learning space. She established rigid parameters to encourage creativity and artistic autonomy. The environment made the budding artist feel very alone. During this entire period, Stefan was home schooled. It showcases the power of educational freedom and takes a look at the limiting factors that formed his childhood.
By the time Stefan was thirteen, he had fully adopted a lifestyle that catered to the world of home schooling. This practice had grown into a standard component of his family’s lifestyle. His mom subscribed to an educational philosophy known as “unschooling”—the idea that following a child’s passions should take precedence over any sort of defined educational plan. She emphasized play, field trips to shops, and drawing as core to her emerging practice, as opposed to following a purist model expectations.
In 1994, when Stefan was fourteen years old, he was still living under this scheme of home schooling. His mother made sure he graduated by forcing young Lawrence to take a correspondence math course. She never required any standardized testing to measure his understanding of even rudimentary grade-level skills. Home schooling in Texas was usually done very much like this during that time. The laws allowed parents a lot of leeway in ways they could educate their children.
Home-schooling laws varied significantly from state to state and were often shaped by lobbying from Christian groups advocating for educational freedom. Even though Stefan’s mother never graduated from high school herself, the law permitted her to educate him at home. Though she had no formal qualifications, nothing kept her from teaching her son.
Because Stefan’s days were mostly spent with just his mother, this sometimes made him feel isolated. At home, he practiced writing by crawling on all fours to strengthen his hands and wrists. This bizarre assignment was an even greater test, one imposed on him by his mother. Yet this practice was only one piece of a broader, hostile landscape. Within this therapeutic setting, she attempted to return him to a more regressive child-like state of dependence.
“Are you going to listen to me? Are you going to listen to me now?” – Mom
If those confrontational tactics form the dark side of Stefan’s mother’s legacy, her progressive intellectual beliefs formed the light side. She believed that creating a passion for learning was important. By allowing children to pursue their passions, she understood they would get the greatest educational results.
“The new theory in education is that what matters most is teaching a child to love to learn, to let them follow their interests.” – Mom
Though her heart was in the right place, the absence of structure ultimately led Stefan to feel unchallenged and isolated from the life and world outside his home. His grandmother, Marian Block—better known as Grandma Mimi—found that out when she stopped by one afternoon. She was immediately shocked to discover that this whole time, Stefan had been doing zero serious academic work.
“The boy should be in school. It’s a Thursday! A boy on a Thursday should be in a school, learning a thing. He needs the – what do they call it? The curriculum.” – Grandma Mimi
While on her visit, Grandma Mimi quickly sensed the lack of structure and asked Stefan a lot of questions about what his days looked like.
“So this is how you spend your day.” – Grandma Mimi
Her concerns only deepened once she began to understand how little rigor and accountability there was in Stefan’s education. She knew that someone had to fight for him, especially after seeing the conditions that he was trying to learn in.
“Someone needs to fight for you here. Lucky for you, a fighter is just who your grandmother is.” – Grandma Mimi
Grandma Mimi’s visit put more pressure on the family home. Stefan’s mother felt compelled to showcase their home schooling methods and insisted that he behave well during his grandmother’s stay.
“Just please, will you do me a favor,” – Mom
“Will you please be on your very best behavior while she’s here? Show her all the great things we do in home schooling? What a great and diligent learner you are? I know we shouldn’t care about her opinion, but I guess I just want to put her in her place a little.” – Mom
Though his mother was telling everyone that he was getting an education and staying on track with the curriculum, Stefan knew the truth. Though he felt the pressure of her expectations he realized that he really wasn’t in the business of learning.
“You don’t need to do that. I usually work harder than this, really.” – The narrator
As the months rolled on after Grandma Mimi’s visit, Stefan started noticing something special. He yearned for a more conventional school setting. The desire for community and class instruction proved insatiable. A year and half later, he found the strength to come forward.
She said he was adamant about going back to school. He dreamed of an exciting place where he could learn with his classmates and be introduced to a robust curriculum. His application was the beginning of a huge, life-changing reversal. It was born out of his profound desire to belong and real desire to learn.