In a world that demands easy solutions, she’s re-imagining how foundations answer the call when people come to them seeking assistance. Instead, they are leading with a little more care. Recently, they received an email with the subject line, “Quick favour this evening, if you have a sec?” Even in its simplicity, this message created a unique, poetic moment of reflection. In doing so, they took an important step away from reacting to every demand placed on their time and energy.
The subject has a recent philanthropic pattern of leaping at the opportunity to do good. Instead of answering, they usually respond, “Let me look into that and follow up with you.” This reaction comes from formative experiences that made her develop a hyper-responsiveness ideal to that value of being nice and people-pleasing. Through years of reflection, they have made the case that these damaging stories are no longer useful. Today, they really prioritize their own needs above the desires of others.
After getting the request, they were able to stop and really think about whether or not meeting it was actually what they wanted to do. This moment of reflection became a fulcrum for their decision-making process. The subject declined to provide an on-the-record response. Instead, these sites just abandoned the request for anywhere from 10 minutes to two days.
The next morning, over the first hot cup of coffee, they totally re-read that email. They recognized that the request was last-minute and came from three different contexts: a work inquiry, a PTA request for assistance, and a personal favor from a friend. This realization prompted a major re-examination of their day-to-day priorities. They had to juggle their kids’ schooling and scooping the cat litter.
Given the subject’s role as a therapist, this further complicates their investment in helping others. They know how to confidently set boundaries, yet remain supportive. This balance is important not only for their own health, but for the health of the people they serve as well.
“Quick favour this evening, if you have a sec?” – Email Subject Line
Through this experience, the subject learned that taking time to process requests allows them to align their responses with their personal values and responsibilities. This involves more than just being nice, making sure that they can help you without endangering their own priorities or interests.