Included in the mix is San Diego TikToker Rachel Higgins, who has pioneered a cool new trend known as the “three-hour night.” This creative concept serves to deepen connection in the busy spaces of parenting. This simple yet creative ritual allows couples to feel connected again. It maximizes the scarce hours they do have after they put their toddler or preschooler to bed and before they themselves go to sleep.
The three-hour night is divided into three very different parts. The initial hour goes toward more constructive work, with partners encouraged to clean or do other tasks to prepare their home together. This collaborative effort creates the physical space and builds camaraderie and teamwork. Next, the second hour is set aside for phone-free time so partners can spend uninterrupted, quality time together. This part promotes genuine discussion and relationship-building, without the pull of screens.
The last hour moves the experience back toward the individual side, allowing each person to do their own thing without shaming the other partner. For Higgins, this layout is “definitely a gamechanger” for her marriage, maximizing their time together in the evenings.
The three-hour date night is a remarkably simple answer to couples who can’t seem to schedule any quality time together with their fast-paced lives. Relationship therapist Jean-Claude Chalmet reminds us that, as a general rule, happy couples appreciate the joy of routine and favorite repetitive activities together. His conversation turns to the phubbing epidemic. He notes that people are increasingly distracted by their partners, a phenomenon termed phubbing. As such, they are significantly less likely to show interest in having more children.
“Anything that’s gonna get you … talking and connecting.” – Rachel Higgins
The three-hour night has become the ultimate digital-age power move for couples. Its clarity, simplicity and effectiveness make it a no brainer for anyone serious about deepening their relationships. Higgins first posted this concept on TikTok, to the amazement of millions looking for ways to strengthen their partnership.
Now couples have the time and freedom to pursue things they’re really passionate about. They may choose to clean the dishwasher or they may have fun talking about their day. The intentional framework encourages depth of engagement and cultivates a rich giving-receiving partnership. It provides structure by clearly delineating between time as a collective and time as an individual for couples.
Furthermore, suggestions like “Hey, let’s not look at our phones tonight, shall we?” serve as gentle reminders for couples to prioritize their connection over digital distractions.