The process of dying is often misunderstood and surrounded by fear, misperceptions, and misconceptions. Advocates and death experts such as Julie McFadden and Cole Imperi want to remind you that no two deaths are the same. They emphasize the importance of context, age, health status, and underlying reasons of each person involved on impacting every scenario. They shed light on the stages that precede death and how people may come to realize this journey. In the process, they beautifully illustrate the importance of death education. With the conversation about death changing, getting to know this unavoidable process can help people walk through it confidently and with dignity.
Julie McFadden from Gainfully Employed Transitioning phase starts months before someone dies. This phase is marked by dramatic shifts in disease and health status. Millions of Americans would likely find themselves sleeping in more. They consume fewer foodstuffs, liquids, and daily living assistance.
Cole Imperi talks about the emotional and psychological challenges of dying. He says part of the challenge is the sheer loss of control – a daunting task for most anyone. He hopes that by demystifying death for people, he can restore some agency back to them in their final moments.
The Transition Phase
The transition period often begins weeks or even months prior to death. Yet for many, this might even be imperceptible, particularly for those suffering from debilitating illnesses such as dementia or Parkinson’s disease.
It’s not just the physical symptoms, during this period, it’s common for people to have a disconnection from reality. As Cole Imperi would put it, this is the place where time does not exist. He offers a beautiful reminder to recognize this energetic shifting away and wandering as a natural part of the dying process.
Julie McFadden compares the dependency of dying individuals to that of infants, stating, “A dying person is like a baby.” She further explains, “Babies can’t say they’re hungry or teething, but you can tell something is wrong by how they’re acting. Dying people are the same.” As her analogy implies, a lot of focused, responsive nurturing is required to get those plants through that tender early stage.
The Active Dying Process
This bodily inefficiency means that as a person nears their end, their body does the same functions in a less effective way. Cole Imperi explains that when you’re going through the process of active dying, for example, you may go through Cheyne-Stokes breathing. Countering typical misconceptions that turn people away from the practice, he offers warm encouragement that this brand of breathing isn’t a painful endeavor.
Plus, Julie McFadden describes an interesting phenomena called, “the rally.” This is the case when, like one out of every three people who are dying, you start hearing stories of sudden bursts of mental clarity right before death. Throughout this time, they might remember the names of family members and start making wishes to eat their favorite dishes all over again.
“There’s not a definitive scientific reason why this happens,” – Cole Imperi
Even though there is lots of question about this happening, Cole Imperi considers it to be “that is a beautiful, beautiful gift.” Given the shortness of this window, there is little time for families to come together with their loved ones in their final moments.
In situations where respiration or heart rate becomes erratic and uncomfortable for the individual, hospice care can provide additional support. Music-thanatologists will likely be increasingly in demand for their unique expertise to stabilize vital signs and alleviate anxiety with musical interventions.
Cultural Perspectives on Death
In American culture, death is often perceived with fear and viewed as a disaster to be avoided at all costs. Kim Rosenstock notes, “In American culture, death is largely feared and seen as this disaster to avoid at all costs.” This cultural climate makes the experience of dying much harder on patients and their families.
Julie McFadden aligns with this view on cultural perceptions when she states that “we are built for death just like we’re built for birth.” She argues that learning to see death as a natural part of life makes it easier to have compassion. This holistic view allows us to care for the dying more compassionately.
Kim Rosenstock addresses this by calling for a more honest depiction of the dying process. She feels that showing death as it truly is can help people confront their fears and come to terms with eventual realities.
“It was important to us to convey the dying process in a truthful way.” – Kim Rosenstock