A 36-year-old woman looking back on her four-year relationship. As she tries to make sense of her partner’s kindness and generosity, she continues to wrestle with feelings of coldness and irritation. She moves back and forth through a very emotional crossroads. She expresses her concerns about her future and concerns about major regrets if she remains in an environment that is not benefiting her.
Now, for the first time in four years, she has a consistent, predictable romantic relationship with a great guy. He just makes sure that she’s always really super safe and considerate. The more she tries, the more she realizes that maybe their emotional connection just isn’t meant to be. This time for introspection has ignited her imagination about how she wants the next 50 years of her life to look and feel. She questions whether this relationship will contribute to her joy and satisfaction.
The woman remembers what seem like loving, tender moments, but then shields them with her angry, dissatisfied, self. Her words express a struggle, or perhaps a war, between the warmth and generosity offered to her and the coldness and isolation she feels. This duality has led her to reevaluate, and question, every decision she’s made in her life.
“My heart is torn,” she admits. “How can I justify doing this terrible thing to them?” Her struggle points to a much bigger dilemma many couples face. There is love, of course, but emotional connection can be weak.
During her reminiscence, the woman comes to terms with what it would mean to stay in a marriage that no longer satisfies her. As much as she looks forward to moving back home, the prospect of spending the next 30 years in such an emotionally unsatisfying place hangs over her. She fears that her current path might lead to regret, a sentiment that many experience when contemplating significant life changes.
The third is the woman’s understanding that a truly fulfilling relationship will add to your life, not make you feel less than. She expresses admiration for her partner’s kindness but speaks to a rift that has developed, one that is no longer possible to overlook. By remembering her earlier mistakes, she has a new idea. Deep down, she begins to question whether she needs to put her own emotional health first—even if it risks wounding someone who loves her.
In conversations with friends and family, she hears mixed opinions about the necessity of staying in a relationship for the sake of kindness alone. “It’s fine! A happy marriage wouldn’t have ended in divorce,” reflects Mr. So-and-so, urging her to weigh her happiness alongside her partner’s feelings.
As she continues her reflection, the woman is determined to make a decision that aligns with her aspirations for the future. Her ambition for another 50 years of life inspires her search for complete happiness in every aspect. This desire spills over into her love life, motivating her to pursue more meaningful relationships. This understanding coupled with the fact that she is worthy of a partnership that emotionally supports her has been coming to fruition.